** currently listening to Bowl For Two x The Expendables**
Let’s chat about the biggest battle of 2016. It will happen inside all of us, and the mastermind behind these internal conflicts we’re about to face is social media. This heavyweight title match pits our social ID versus our social EGO. What are these you ask? I touched on these in one of my earlier pieces so I’ll give you a quick sparknotes:
[Disclaimers; the terms I used in this piece are NOT like scientifically proven. They are psychological terms being pinned on social/digital aspects of millennial’s lives.]
The SOCIAL EGO:
The part of our conscience that influences us to make socially acceptable decisions, actions, and remarks in person or social media. The SE, as we’ll call it because I’m lazy, is kind of a buffer between yourself and the outside world. This buffer is almost conditioned into us and has been for the last 3-6 years. I realized mine developed during college. For example, it was a big deal when Twitter began to allow people to view their archives. You all remember that? My first tweet went something like, “Manyezz on twitter bitchessss,” compared to my most recent tweet at the time (So glad I took the time out of my busy schedule to just relax and watch an episode of one of my current shows. #Bliss.) Uhm…yeah need me to break it down? Well of course I will. Duh. So my SE developed quite quickly after meeting a certain group of people, whom will be groomsman at my wedding. They taught me a lot about social settings and what’s acceptable. That’s when the SE takes controls at your social/mental HQ. Here are some rules the SE follows when they’re in charge:
**Music switches to King Without a Crown x Matisyahu**
Always use correct grammar on social media, you are grown and educated. Mustn’t let these people see that you cannot spell and create proper sentences. Also please refrain from profanity.
Do not express lust for others on social media/in person. It’s highly inappropriate. No one likes a thirsty individual. ***** Pay extra close to this one****
Do not overuse your social avenues, no one likes someone who tweets several tweets in a row, or posts more than one Instagram photo a day. **later revised to a week** **later revised to only when there are special events** Also do not post at inappropriate times because people will get the wrong idea.
Peak times: 12-1 am (wake up likes) 9-11pm getting ready to go out times or people are getting ready for bed so they do a lot of scrolling before bed ** note these are null and void if you are a female, post as needed.
When interested in someone of the opposite sex take extreme caution, act in secrecy. Take caution in what you say to them so you don’t seem too anxious. You must dully entertain them with small talk, talks on goals, before even breaking the touch barrier. If you do not enter with caution you will be shamed by her and her friends despite her mutual interest in you.
** Music switches to Anything in Return (album) x Toro y Moi**
Guys/gals get the point? The SE exchanges truthful desires in order to have a clean social rep. Social etiquette has been so in for the past five years. Very similarly, so has “being a hipster…” but that’s another topic for another blog. Point blank, the SE is like Jiminy Cricket for most, he’s there to counsel you when you interact with others. Now for the contender, in the opposite corner we have the Social ID, SI for short.
THE SOCIAL ID:
This part of our social conscience holds our most truest, unfiltered desires. Take it as our inner social cavemen. Simple desires, quickest path to get there. It’s like if we ran into a wall our SEs would find a way around, be it digging a hole, maybe even building a ladder. The SI would run right through it leaving a body shaped hole in the wall. However, the SI has always been suppressed as much as our will allowed it, but as the social scene and culture shift, it may be finding its way out. Sort of like how the Kyuubi found ways to show itself from within Naruto, in brief yet significantly LIT occasions. If you don’t get that reference shame on you! No, just kidding, think of it as a socially driven animalistic alter ego with no shame. (within reason, of course) Here’s some of the rules the SI runs by:
You think she’s cute? Talk to her. What’s the worst that could happen?
Go ahead, drop the F bomb, you thought that last episode was FUCKING AMAZING, right?
You’re having a blast with your friends downtown why not live tweet it and post good looking photos of you all, besides, this lighting is too precious!
Don’t make excuses to your friends or significant other about why you want to do certain things. Explain It to them, if they love you they will understand.
i.e. Yeah I think I want to leave my job because I want more money. Not, oh I feel constrained by the structure I’m in (insert bullshit here).
Make your intentions clear. Do not waste your time or anyone else’s. We have one life to live. So live every second of it.
Oh, I just want to meet people in your ridiculous field. NO. You think she’s dope so you want to spend more time with her.
Oh sir, I love my position. NO. You want to get promoted because you have the track record to prove it, you are over qualified, and you know you can do well.
So, you get the gist of the SI? At first presentation it’s like the Republic(SE) versus the First Order(SI) from Star Wars (PS watch the new movie!!). But why paint the SI as solely negative? Why can’t they both just be different approaches to social/professional connection and navigation?
**switches to Purpose (album) x Justin Beibervelli**
Sorry that the sparknotes weren’t as quick as I promised but at least by now you should totally get the two sides. So why is current culture and social media to blame for this inner conflict? Think. Think about this movement. What are some common things we are starting to see on the NOW oversaturated Twitter, Intsagram, and SnapChat, the three headed hydra of the social world? We are seeing a drift from the “social etiquette” era to the “do what the fuck you want” era. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying a revolution is occurring, or that social etiquette is out the window. These are just new trends occurring from what I’ve been observing and discussing with my friends over doughnuts. The best convos happen over doughnuts. Trust me.
So now we see people talking about; shoot your shot, slide in those DMS, asking for @ names, people going out dolo, and etc. Although some people have BEEN doing things, it wasn’t acceptable by SE standards. Now people are open about it. Just the other day on NYE I saw AT LEAST 5 pic stitches with pictures of a happy couple and captioned: “SO thankful he slid into my DM’s.” What? My SE was going crazy bouncing off the small walls of my brain. My SI was sitting in a chair, legs kicked back with a cigar in its mouth just praising the two. It was crazy. From a female perspective, it shows that they have been cultured into thriving off the approaches from the opposite sex. Now I could be completely wrong, but how many females get that DM, or get that request for their number, or get that text like “hey met you at the bar last night, maybe we can get together some time for some coffee?” and think “HA LOOK AT THIS GUY.” Following this thought do any females go into deep thought as to what they should do next? Rather than being a human being and being straightforward? Has anyone figured out the whole text back an hour after reading the message thing? Because I haven’t.
Despite this stigma that females have towards approaches, we still are shifting to a more DELIBERATE culture!
**Seishun Kyousoukyoku x Sambomaster aka Naruto Opening 5**
Point blank, 2016 is the year millennials will let their inner SOCIAL ID thrive and let it call the shots more often. We [millennials] are going to be completely honest, mindful of our time, and selfish with our actions. Now, a lot of you are saying, “hmm isn’t that how humans are normally?” Yes they are, but they hide it via their SE. Their SOCIAL EGO finds excuses for the SOCIAL ID so the world doesn’t hate them. FOR EXAMPLE:
- Charles decides that he’s going to park at a different parking spot today because he want to just do something different. Latently he fails to realize that his ID suggested this subconsciously because earlier in the week he noticed the new, very attractive coworker parks on the side he “happened” to want to park on. A few days later they happen to pull up at the same time and walk in together. A week later they do lunch together. Two weeks later they are on date 2. Four months pass by and they no longer speak because Charles did not have a time for a relationship and wanted to continue the casual sex they started a month ago, however, the cute coworker wanted more. So now, Charles is back parking on his usual side and his life continues.
** The Young and The Hopeless (album) x Good Charlotte**
So what am I REALLY getting at with this piece? That with the culture paradigm shift that will surely emerge full force in 2016, our inner Social ID’s are about to have a field day. Social constructs up until now have always favored the Social Ego, therefore it has thrived in each of us. Psychologically, we will start to find ourselves being more forthcoming, more unapologetic, and more honest. I think this is good, but I also wonder what if all of us start listening to our IDs strictly. Will there will be STD outbreaks, death, and a lot more single people? The key to embracing this social shift that’s been brewing, is to feed the monster a little. Merge bit and pieces of your inner ID into your daily routines and interactions. You see that cute girl that works across the hall? If you’re single, why the hell not go introduce yourself? Your girl asks you if you’re upset about a specific issue, don’t say no to avoid the argument, talk it out, create dialogue and find solutions. It about channeling the best parts of your two inner social complexities, finding a balance, and improving your life and relationships in this new year.
I’m mostly excited about people taking their own needs into consideration rather than worrying about their reputation, so many brilliant minds will have inner renaissances. People will have free time they never had. Just look around your digital worlds; more people are blogging, more people are getting soundclouds, more people are taking their careers/passions/brands to the next level. All these heights are being achieved by focusing their energy elsewhere! People are putting themselves out there, without fear, and I think it’s so fascinating.
We are already seeing it with people who have huge platforms at their disposals: celebrities. For example, Shia LaBeouf and his ranting and appreciating of art, Jaden Smith and his bigger than life thoughts, Cam Newton and his unapologetic dabbin’ and dancing, and of course the only person I know that lets their ID do all the talking: Mr. Kanye West.
People are going to create.
People are going to speak their minds.
People will be their damn selves.
People are going to take beautiful risks.
Will you let your SOCIAL ID out of the cage more this year?
Thanks for listening.
Talk to you soon.
Under promising and over delivering,