Last Week

So,

I’m sitting here and I can’t sleep. I should be seeing as that I have a full schedule tomorrow but hey, what do most college students have in common? — Sleep deprivation. It’s not like I haven’t been productive, I did assignments and what not…

What’s on my mind: me. No not how amazing I am or how aesthetically amazing I may or may not be, but the direction of me. I am a senior at this nation’s top public university. Post grad plans? Had em, and now they are almost a bust. Being that I am at the perfect combo of optimist and realist, something sure would be nice. I ask to myself to tonight; what the hell.

Trust me I’m not freaking out or anything, that’s just not what I do. However I am thinking to myself, did I miss out on anything? Did I meet someone at the wrong time? Did that phone call I ignore catastrophically change the course of my future? I DO NOT KNOW.

What I do know is that at this point in my journey (that will soon turn into a tale of success and greatness that will then be turned into a biography), I can’t help but to have one eye in the now and one eye in what will. We always say live NOW live FOR NOW live in THE MOMENT. Yeah that’s all fun because Lord knows I’ve had a crazy time the past couple of years, but at this point you can’t help it. Everyday I take a sec to reflect on my actions and motives and make sure they align with who I am: Manny.

Being dynamic has always been a part of me. Always exploring new ideas, people, and eclectic ways of expressions like music. To be honest there are one or two things I can stick with and be alright with. I just am not sure. I’m also nervous about going down some paths because they might limit me. Limiting myself is something I hate more than most things so caution is expected when making decisions at this point in my life.

Point blank, whenever we face transitions in life our thought process seems to deepen for some time. My question is at this point, do they stay deepened, or once we figure all our crap out do we go back to content thinking until change surfaces again?

Guess I’ll find out.

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