The other day I stumbled upon this quote that got my mind racing at Mach 3:
“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached.” – Simone Weil
As humans , we find the need to have certain attachments around us. We all know that human nature isn’t the prettiest. We’ve heard it all: “Don’t put anything past anybody,” “Everyone is in it for their personal interest,” “Survival of the fittest,” “Trust no one.” If this is the case why are consistently forming relationships? Platonic and romantic. Are they even necessary past reproduction? Now we have three very sane and logical answers: No, Yes, and the ever so educational cliche; “Depends on the person and the time.”
If I were a person to say yes, that these relationship that we view so important are necessary for a happy life, I would say that human nature would fall to nurture. I would say that these relationships reap benefits that one cannot bring about on their own. Friends and lovers bring out the best in you that you can’t always see. They are the second opinion me, myself, and I simply cannot provide. Friendship is a catalyst to opportunities, growth, and happiness. Same goes with love; it motivates you, gives you goals, and a something to work for. Now, speaking as YesManny, I would say that a relationship is definitely a long winding road that can only be straightened with clear and constant communication, good intentions, shared values, passion, and the forfeiting of what seems to be people’s biggest treasures; their heart and trust. It’s not easy to say the least. Sometimes the pressure may be too much, and the moment that the two paths that came together to form the relationship diverge again, the red button has to be pressed. Don’t fret TeamYes, one relationship doesn’t make you, it shouldn’t, thats blasphemy. Sometimes as a person you think that another individual makes you who you are, but remember what got you into that perfect relationship in the first place. It wasn’t just that individual, it was you too! If you worked for one person, why can’t you work for at least one other person out of SEVEN BILLION. So at the end of it all, these relationships are necessary for growth, reality checks, happiness, and maturity right?
If I were on #TeamNo then my biggest crutch for the argument is human nature. That at the end of the day, a person will look out for their best interest. Often times, we glorify selflessness, but forget that self care is important as well. It has taken me over two decades to realize the importance of self care and why negligence of it can be very nasty and unhealthy. Selflessness is dandy and all, but when do the self-righteous get a break? Are they every cared for? They are human too, so why the hell not? Basically, if self care is what is most important, why worry about others? If you know what you are worth others inputs should not matter. I’m not saying live alone, the key is the attachment. Do we have to become attached to every little person that gives us attention? Forming these bonds may or may not be hindrances. Whether to form them at all is up to that person…
This is a doozy. If you are on this team your one of those over thinkers who draw conclusions based on your experiences, prior knowledge, and observations of others. Essentially, a Carolina student! Anyways, whether someone is reluctant to form attachments depends on their pasts. Someone who has had many failed relationships/bonds is bound to be very reluctant no matter how potentially benefiting the relationship may be. In another case you may find those who have never formed meaningful relationships be reluctant because they don’t know how to form them! So it’s really a conundrum.
So, at the end of it all I’ve learned that struggle and pressure in life are normative. External relationships can either help or hurt dealing these obstacles in life. Inevitably, bonds form naturally sometimes without knowing. In turn, these bonds and the attachment to them can either be a benefit or a hinderance. So was my good friend Simone Weil speaking the whole truth? Is attachment also a state of illusion? Will you really see clarity without attachment? In my opinion attachment is necessary, but at certain points in life. I mean, to much of a anything is bad correct? I feel like spurts of meaningful relationships in your life will help you grow, but at times you need time to your self. On one hand you have interpersonal growth, affection, and dedication to bonds formed. On the other hand you have self-reflection, self-care, and personal drive. I feel like as emerging adults we need a healthy mix of both. Unfortunately, we don’t always pick when these times occur. You can’t pick who you develop chemistry with, but you can pick who you meet. So you can seek attachment or you be without it for a bit.
Underpromising and overdelivering
– The Talent